The Overflowing Empty Glass

My chest bears no insides

for my organs have been misplaced, 

          the insides of my insides missing within themselves

All functioning through sheer will

          or what is left 

They cramp and burn within my soul, 

forcing themselves through my unconscious wall

          no longer does my mind function on it’s own

A mind aware of it’s own self

          catastrophe climbing over the this future’s walls

Come find me, come lay with me

none of which would subside in a place like this

          here the heat of my thoughts touch are to unbearable

;curled crisps of my inner shell and your hands reaching to me

Knives couldn’t cut through what plagues me so

          for they open wounds once visited before

          drawing that of the negative energy clouded around me into my bruised skin

Fates hands placing their pawns through my path

          full of strife and prevention

Come save me, can’t you hear my words?

          has the paper thin reality I’ve been grasping onto been a lie?

am I the only knight that can further pursue my rescue?

How come no matter how much suffering I put my physical shell through, 

          it cannot pierce the brutalization within my skull?

Despite the overwhelming noise within my head,

          my voice remains muted; waiting on the a lending ear and shoulder to bring peaceful           
          silence.

Companionship and it's Truths

It is natural for a human to want to reach out to someone, and have the desire to not be alone. Curious though, why do we, the most successful and powerful animal on this earth and possibly the galaxy, have the need to depend on others of our kind. Most animals in nature stop depending on others of their kind as soon as they can learn to sustain life on their own. And like the sea turtle they can be independent as early as birth.

Is it our non-animalistic ways that drive us to such companionship? That with our higher intelligence we can learn how to love, appreciate, and take care of one another. A blessing at first glance, but under the mask there lies a curse with it.

I have found that love and the desire to be close to someone can be the most powerful motivator in our world, that the thought that when I am to lay my head upon my pillow and wake in the morning, that someone would be thinking about me as well. Through companionship you can accomplish so much more than that of being alone, through the act of sharing ideas and conversing.

I have found that I wish to never rely on another person for a very long time, until I can look in the eyes of the other and know that it is permanent. Because permanence is very relevant when it comes to companionship. As highly evolved animals, we do not adjust to change very well, because the act of adapting is an animalistic trait that I think has been lost in time. So when what used to be companionship and dependence get’s thrown away in an instant, the human brain simply can’t handle such a crisis.

And with this, we have lost most of our ability to recover quickly and go back to our natural survival instincts of depending on no one but ourselves. Most likely after something like this we go through a withdrawal stage, craving any type of affection from others, and even sometimes becoming a completely different person in order to handle the situation that is now their life.

The more I think about all of which I have just written about, the more I grow tired of searching for companionship myself. I wish to be a person who depends on nothing but the food I make, the water I drink, and the ground underneath my feet. Love, friendship, and even someone to talk to are something that I will never take so lightly anymore. That when I am so dependent on myself, I can finally then reach out towards another and share my world with them, use the gift that was given to all human beings, the ability to love.